The Half Squirrels

These days, they follow me everywhere.

"The half squirrels", I said. "They follow me everywhere. Everywhere I go so do they"

For a brief moment, you seemed interested in what I had to say. I seized my chance.

"Half squirrels. I see them everywhere.".

You looked puzzled. So I said it again.

" Left half squirrels, Right half squirrels. Top half Squirrels and bottom half squirrels. Even the odd front half squirrels and occasional back half squirrels. Everywhere I look."

For a moment puzzlement almost made you say something, then you realised that would be a very bad move and stopped before realising that once you'd started to think about what you might have wanted to ask me it became impossible to go through the rest of your puny miserable existence without asking. So you asked.

"If they're half squirrels, what's the other half?"

"What other half?" I replied, as the wish that you had never formed that thought escaped from your brain to your face.